MPs Debate the cause of the riots
MPs: We found a the cause of the riots, ban it, ban it, ban it.
MP#1: We have found Twitter is the cause of the riots can we ban it?
PM: How do you know Twitter is the cause of the riots?
MPs: It looks like one
PM: Bring the Twitter forward.
Twitter: I’m not the cause of the riots. I’m not the cause of the riots. I’m a communications medium.
PM: But you look like the cause of the riots.
Twitter: They did that to me by filtering out all the other communications
PM: did you filter all the other things out?
MPs: We did do the filtering. A bit.
PM: What makes you think it is the cause of the riots?
MPs: It’s new and modern.
PM: Modern?
MPs: Well 21st century.
MPs: Ban It.
PM: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether it is the cause of the riots
MPs: There are?
MP#4: Are they rational?
PM: Tell me. What do we do with the causes of the riots?
MP#1: Ban them
MPs: Ban, Ban, Ban
PM: and what do we ban apart from the causes of the riots?
MP#1: more causes of riots
MP#2: ssh
MP#3: Things we don’t understand.
PM: Very good. So what else don’t we understand
MP#1: Science
MP#2: Evidence based policy making
MP#3: The causes of the riots
MP#5: How to honestly fill in expenses
MP#4: Anything invented after 1950
PM: Correct. So what else was invented after 1950?
MP#3: The telephone
MP#2: Concorde
MP#: The internet.
Tom Watson: Social Media
MPs: oooh
PM: Exactly, So logically…
Louise Mensch: .. if …. Twitter … is a social media it must be the cause of the riots.
MPs: Ban it.
This reminds me of Douglas Adams’ comments about the three types of inventions:
– those that occur before you are born and are as natural as breathing
– those that occur before you are (about) 25 and are new and interesting and worth learning
– those that occur after you are (about) 25 all of which are contrary to the laws of nature and ought to be banned!
Now I know this is satire (and pretty good satire), but I haven’t heard anything yet about anyone wanting to ban ssh as a suspected cause of the riots (see MP#2 above). Have I missed something?
Ban ssh? Makes perfect sense. They would not understand that either and it was invented after 1950!
The banning of ssh will be as a result of the Digital Economy Act II which will be pushed through when some of the alleged pirates adopt it to stop the BPI discovering what they’re doing.